Kate Hopkins' Avocado Global Politics

Here are the first few lines of Kate Hopkins' one-act play:

US GOVERNMENT: Uh. Hello. If I could have your attention for a moment.

(beat)

(Speaks louder and with more authority) I would like to welcome the new opportunities that have arrived with the signing of the North America Free Trade Agreement. With this agreement, it will allow all manner of products to be sold at markets throughout Canada, the United States, Mexico and beyond. With this, we open our doors to products previously restricted...

CALIFORNIA AVOCADO GROWERS ASSOCIATION:(interrupting)*cough* Except Avocados.*cough*.

US GOVERNMENT:(startled) I'm sorry...what?

MEXICO: What did you say California?

The Avocado growers stand up and walk to the US Government. In their hand is clearly seen a roll of MONEY.

CALIFORNIA AVOCADO GROWERS ASSOCIATION:(to the US Government) I said...Except Avocados. They aren't part of NAFTA. They have... (placing money in to US Governments hands) ...fruit flies.

MEXICO: Our avocados do not have fruit flies!

US GOVERNMENT:(counting money) Except for avocados. Mexico can't bring them into the US, because they have fruit flies, french fries, something. Whatever. They ain't coming in.

MEXICO: We do NOT HAVE fruit flies!

California gives the US Government the thumbs up and walks back to their chair to sit.